9.23.2009

I Could Write You a Eulogy Tonight

I could feel you dead

Under the hunch table,

I do not know whether you’re awake,

Or had rested in peace,

Your eyes still wide open

Under the glimmering night sky,

Perhaps the waves from the beach

Were your last companion

Your last symphony

Or your dirge before

You go.


I tilt my head, to see what you see

In the immortal sky,

A Sagittarius is shooting the moon

Into half,

While the waves continue bashing

And recede.


How I could secretly whisper to you

“You are not alone tonight”

But you are lying motionless

Under your jaded shelter.


The tide could not reach you,

You are too far from the beach,

The stars are afraid of death,

They are immortalized since before your birth,

The sea would not sing at night,

They would only lament.


Wake up!

Show me you are still alive,

Do not sleep forever in your Wonderland,

Wake up! Wake up!


There was a beautiful sunset before

Some bell jingles from some ice-cream peddlers,

My father was chatting with an ice-cream lady,

I sat on the hollowed edge of a pot,

The sea was devouring the sun O sun,

Before the sky goes dark.



I feel the loneliness you feel,

The moon has its heart broken,

It is now only half-lit in the pitch sky,

I murmured at calling out you,

I guessed you could not hear me,

My soul is languid,

I could feel you are dead,

The waves are bashing into our silence,

Has it been always that impulsive?


I am sad.

Wake up and we booze the night of us,

Together we drain out the bitterness

With this sweet booze,

And you be rest allayed throughout the night,

Do not feel lonely, anymore,

The broken moon shared our agonies,

Every receding tide, our sadness worn out each time,

The sea will be music in our silence,

I wrote this eulogy in your silence.

Farewell! My friend


Note:-Written in Pantai Teluk Kemang, Port Dickson on 30 August 2009

It's a Bachelor's Night

Holding up by the neck

Of this dark bottle

Under blinking lights,

I felt old,

Like a lifetime wasted upon seconds,

Just about a quarter in pint,

Scrunch my heart,

Like a moth in this maize

Of crowdedness.


Passing revelers and 10

Strangers,

They do not know,

I was fuddled in these flamboyant lights

Of disguise,

They thought I am merrying in the moment,

Rejoicing in the delight of memories:

Girls, boozes and hard-beat music.


Then a luminous square screen suddenly appeared,

Before my drowsy thoughts,

Capturing the picture in half-cut faces, 20

With my pretentious soberness,

I promised another perfect vision,

Now a full frame face,

In glimmer back.

I took another slug.


The audience trying to prove

My sober by passing ignorance,

I should sing or shout in shock

To get their attention.

But my rage drunken by another slug, 30

If I collapse tonight,

The world would be beyond

My memory,

And ends up in the five foot

Or in the alley of afro-inspired sex.



The biggest happiness is sadness,

The altruism held in my pride,

As the passing revelers would have noticed,

My already bleary red-shot eyes,

My dry tears could use to pollinate the flowers, 40

Or my throw-up back to the nature of vegetation ferment.


Have you ever seen the happiest man?

When he is drunk with his slugs,

Who has tears to tell his side of story,

To grow beautiful spring later.

Lining the sky with his fingers,

Chanting slurs,

Half-awake with a mouth

Drenched in bitterness;

Memories. 50


The marriage toast will never

Cross my mind,

What’s more my heavy intoxication;

I see myself blurry,

My eyes are dried

Soaked in the whiskey,

My sobriety in elsewhere

I do not belong.


The matrimony is not

Mine. 60

The happiness is sadness

Wrought heavy in the quench

In between slugs of appetence,

To quench down the future

Surrealism,

And mock up the past

Abstractism,

Expressed in the very present

Of a splinter consciousness.


“I am awake, 70

Yes I am conscious,

Yes; sober am I,

No, this is not you,

Where’s my bloody glass?

Why this whiskey is water?

Where’s the bottle?



Why the floor is reeling?
Why the lights flaring at me?

Why my mind is locked

Blank? Blind? Conked? 80

Fucked up?

Suck it out!

Suck it out!”


I dropped the laden glass,

Of water

Broken, spatter,

On my chequered shirt,

Spikes of shards

On the reeling floor,

Crinkling, 90

Drowned in deafening discotheque,

The disaster went off,

Into the forgotten lyrics.


The locum bore

A few slickers,

Discharging myself,

Acknowledging a few more nibble

Of infatuation to illusory,

Future of the past,

Realism to unrealism, 100

In this meaningful realm,

Of repentance in inebriation.


Note:-Drunken Notes from HQnine-midnight 9th August 2009

9.14.2009

The Scent of Flowers

Standing out,

Perky,

I see clearly,

Puffy blossom,

Wet bushy,

Soft petals,

Narrow widespread end,

Pink innocent guile,

With red shots baby flowery,

Reaching out unperturbed.

Drooling side,

With morning dews heavy,

Fresh and wet,

Upon scanty path,

Green dark glossy tufts,

Scatters,

Screaming “lookout”

“Lookout”

You moron!

Just gave birth,

--Morning labour,

It’s toil of the soil,

You moron!

Me just ignorant,

Fresh air,

Fresh morning,

Fresh flowery,

Fabulous!

Stroll

In the naked alley,

With naked lilies and roses,

Wearing leafy skirts,

Barefooted,

Soiled feets,

Sexy humming,

Echoed in the glasshouse,

A sanctuary of sort,

Songs of Starlings,

And buttercup butterflies,

Flappy yellow,

Dearly mellows,

Bouncing at the rhythms,

Of Starlings

And sunshine.

In the morning divine.


Note: Poetry read in open mike, LEPAQ CAFE, Desa Sri Hartamas on 25th April 2009 in conjunction with KL 4th Poetry Slam (Green Theme).



To You: September


Now I’m sitting in September,

The first letter I wrote you

In July,

Almost forgotten,

Is still with me, post-dated,

Have you read it?


Do I have to replace a new envelope again?

This has always been my

First letter to you,

In September,

I know you love collecting stamps,

Now I have a new one on this new envelope.



I wrote your name again,

Put it beside your bed again,

I love you.

Where were all the little stamps

In your beautiful stamp album?

I could keep this new one for you.


I will write you a new letter

For you tonight,

I do not wish to remember the old one,

Old tears and old memories,

Am I trying too hard?

I guessed you’ll feel the same.


But this long night is September’s night,

I have had every fresh memory of you,

I wish to tell you all again,

In this little letter.

I remember your beautiful smile,

I love you dearly.


This night today in September

Is a silent night,

There is not a single raindrop

To bury my recalls,

My quiet mind,

And my soberness.


This will still be my first letter

To you in September,

A new letter with a beautiful stamp,

Keep it for tonight,

“With love forever”:

To you in this final September's night.

Sepucuk Surat Untukmu

Sepucuk surat ini

Untukmu,

Kembalilah kembali,


Ke manamu mengembara

Nun jauh dari

Sisiku yang sunyi,


Keriangan tak bererti

Buat aku,

Selepas pemergianmu,


Biarlah aku,

Merantau

Mencari bayanganmu,


Kerana aku,

Kerana cinta dua rantau

Di antara Kayangan dan Kundasang,


Sepucuk surat ini

Untukmu,

Jangan kita berpisah,



Kembalilah kembali,

Kemanamu mengembara,

Sengasara dihatiku yang lara,


Keraian tak bersambutan,

Keriangan bukan milikku,

Kembalilah kesayanganku,


Janganmu mengembara

Jauh

Dari hatiku,


Biarlah aku mendekati

Disisimu,

Seperti sepucuk surat ini,


Menemanimu,

Bila aku menyulam

Isi hati,


Kamu menghalusi;

Mendalami bibit-bibit

Rinduku padamu,


Janganlah mengembara jauh,

Asal kita di sini,

Mari kita membina,


Kayangan di sini,

Dan Kundasang dihati,

Kembalilah kembali,


Sepucuk surat ini,

Membujukmu

Kembali.