The Decadence

I am like a child,

Grudging; grunting about insufficiency,

Insatiable conquest over coveted toys,

Like how I loathe dolls,

But loving trolls.

But this life,

Of not wanting,

But intense grief,

The sore that tears,

My gentle heart.

Thus the gushing,

The bitterness of beer,

Crushing down the senses,

Beating the gastro,

Flooding every emotion.

How I wish could forget tomorrow,

When it will become the illusive past,

These grieves, of morrows,

Will pilfer me of my aspiration,

To live till at least today.

Being consummate of flesh,

This rancid death-meat,

Commiserate of losses,

But I have not inspired,

Like the patriarchal sanctimony.

It’s a choice between,

Living and Thriving,

Or Living inanimate,

The spirit of woods,

Or a pebble under the washed-guilt current.

Or a crawler hideous against sunlight,

Mice rattling from his burrow,

Than grieving against morrows,

These flood-filled emotions,

Only decadence will consummate an ending for all.

Nipples on The Runway

The nipples are

Strutting on the runway,

Sagging,

Of density,

My head approximates

A furcoat,

In the embrace of a humming

Heartbeat,

This nakedness

In nature,

The young woman

In water,

I do not know

How to color her

Wet.

The drizzle trickling

From the sky,

Are tears

From her enslavery

To masochistic

Hedonism.

The frail skin,

Abused expression,

Her face

Holding the sky,

If Hestia would be listening,

“Bring me home”, please.

I do not

Know how to

Color her

In the wildness:

Copper nude under the moonlit;

Yellow gold on the green grass;

Or labor wet in the water.

I darken out her

Face,

Deep brown,

No yellow, no gold, no copper

On her body.

I gave her a quill,

To filter the

Falling drizzle.

And Red Caladiums,

For her bosom.

Now she looks

Beautiful,

Smiling

Lovingly,

And free.

Note: Hestia is the Goddess of Hearth and Home, according to Greek Mythos.

Kedegilan Alam Buana

Bunga ditebarnya

Menghijau santun,

Menguning emas,

Membiru, memarak-merang,

Memutih salji,

Di puncak Kinabalu,

Aku melihat.

Di penjuru lautan,

Aku terperhati.

Di padang sawah,

Mengalasi bumi.

Kemanakah salji yang mengalir

Beku,

Tangisan,

Semalaman,

Kelmarin.

Hari besoknya,

Akan ia lebur

Menjadi sungai anak Kinabatangan,

Merentang liku-liku,

Meredah kehausan bumi.

Oh, bilakah?

Bilakah bayu timur

Akan mengemudi,

Biduk burukku,

Yang terhimpit

Di tengah-tengah

Kedegilan alam buana.

Note: Poetry performed at Freedom Slam@LEPAQ CAFE, Kelana Mall on 22 August 2009

The Closure

The cursor blinks

For over five minutes,

Tapping the keyboard,

But the letters manslaughtered,

Leaving the page bloodspilled,

The cursor blinks epileptic.

The closure,

Lead me anywhere

Near beginning,

Rather, perpetual,

Nowhere from here,

None anywhere ahead.

Time truncated,

My mind, senses and subconscious,

The ghost of my shadow has

Preceded everywhere I go,

At the lunch table; on the bed, and

Even pitching falsettos in my dreams.

The coffee's waiting for me,

A smokescreen of tardiness,

Heating the letters up,

The wizardry factory will

Conjure some fermented brews,

Before my eyelids wrap the balls.

I could drink to insobriety,

Unplug the radio,

Tear out a loosen leaf, from my old diary,

Or an Angel could peck my fingers,

On the keys,

To break the long brood.

I wish there could be a complete power cut,

A tear gas in my bleary eyes,

A thick forehead and a brittle breath,

So I could not hear my thoughts breathing,

It has been keeping me awake,

Counting the blinks.

I would rather just drop dead

At my layers of slumbers,

Puff out the falsetto,

Darken the letters,

So they will all look the same,

Indiscriminately free.

Playing out my closure,

On the centerstage of glares and gazes,

For thirteen days on stage,

My final playwright and fights,

Hanging my shadow,

By the moon, incarcerated.

You Should Be Dancing

We were singing

A karaoke

At home,

Always, three mikes and

Bee Gees: You Should Be Dancing,

Me, you, dad and mother,

You and dad will sing,

Mum will hum along,

I’ll be the Jester.

But now,

We never ensemble

Strings and clings,

I could hear music, playing

In my ears,

But I didn’t hear your voice.

In this month’s June,

The clock slows,

Everyday inches forever,

Like the 1^st day of June lasting forever.

I bought you a birthday cake,

Chocolate cherry,

But I doubt on the candles,

So I insist one short,

On that piece of cake.

Next year will be two pieces,

One chocolate cherry,

Another chocolate banana,

Like the one you brought home

Two years ago,

From Bread Story.

This night we sing:

I Could Not Love You More,

I unpack the mikes,

Bee Gees’ CD,

And switch on the TV,

After we sung you Happy Birthday.

I heard a symphony of silence,

With the musical running,

But I could not hear your voice,

The curtain flutters,

Maybe this night will rain,

As I could hear thunders roaring.

The Bee Gees sung out the elegy,

While I sat in the hall,

Flipping my mental images,

Searching for you,

When you brought us smile

With your chocolate banana.

June is a month passes slow,

The song plays slower this night,

The beats go softer tonight,

And the silence also lingers longer tonight,

The candle melts with the cake,

On the cold glass saucer.

I wrap the cake back

To its box,

Pack the CD and mikes back

To its sanctuary,

Switch off the TV,

Close the curtain,

With the music still playing in my ears.

Hidup Ini

Hidup ini cuma sekilau mimpi,

Tidakku impikan,

Mahupun idamkan,

Cuma secebis memori.

Perangkap kejiwaan sayu,

Diketengahan gelora bayu,

Impian berderai layu,

Bagai bintang melesap ngilu.

Air panas segelas isi,

Lantasku ke muka membedai,

Masihkah aku diketengahan mimpi,

Bertenung lohong di pinggiran ilusi.

Di manakah aku harus,

Menburu-telus,

Kebenaran di tengah-tengah,

Siku-liku merumit tegar.

Ia cuma ilusi,

Cukuplah cukuplah,

Penatlah lelahlah,

Sepanjangan igauan pagi.

Di mana,

Di mana-mana,

Celana kelana,

Tengara terala.

Buaian sepuisi,

Dengan iringan merbok mendayu,

Imbauan pagi indah merdu,

Dibelai bayu sepoi.

Raba-raba,

Suka-suka,

Lama-lama,

Hiba-hiba.

Di mana,

Di manakah kuharus,

Mencari,

Memburu realiti.

Payah, Payah,

Susah, susah,

Resah, kesah,

Lesu, lesah.

Bila,

Bila,

Benar

Ada.

Tiada ada,

Makna tiada,

Mana bila,

Hidup cuma mada.

Tiadaku idami,

Tidakku kesali,

Cuma impikan sekali,

Hidup ini cuma sekilau mimpi.

Translation-Copyright Kent

This Life

This life is just a dream,

I never wished,

Neither coveted,

It is a mere memory.

The sadness traipsed,

In defiance of gusting storm,

Dreams scatter-dribble,

As stars vanished farewell.

A lukewarm glass of water,

With a splinter splash,

Am I in dream?

Staring void on the edge of illusory.

In where I shall,

Hunt vigour,

The truth in midst,

Of an entangled twist.

It be just an illusion,

Enough, enough,

Wearisome, tiresome,

In the morning delirium.

Where at once?

Everywhere at once,

Traveling wandering,

Pious-reverent.

A pampered poetic,

With a dovee’s croon,

What a soothing humming,

Cuddled gentle by strolling breeze.

Fondling fumbling,

Dazzled bedazzled,

Further farther,

Despair Impair.

Where?

Where shall I,

Search,

Scour for reality.

Agony Agony,

Litany Litany,

Worrisome Worrisome,

Wearisome Wearisome.

When,

& when?

Really,

Do really.

None is,

Meaning neither,

Where When?

Life just vague.

I do not covet,

I do not regret,

Just dreamt once,

This life's just a dream.

Kejelitaan Bunga Di Fajar Pagi

Kewangian bunga-bungaan,

Menusuk benak,

Mengusik warak,

Di tepian denai,

Di bawah teduh lelangit,

Matahari menyinari senai,

Aku bersiaran kaki,

Perlahan didodoi,

Lelagu tiung.

Angin pagi menyepoi,

Panas lengas,

Membangkit sedar lelan.

Sinaran terik,

Pantulan di balik embun-embun,

Halus kelopak merah-marak,

Bercumbuan orkid ungu;

Dibelai dedaun hijau kuyup,

Mengasyikkan dodoi,

Sepoi-sepoi lelagu alam,

Lengai-lengai hati dalam,

Dikerumun bunga-bunga segar,

Lembut longlai

Lembap sapai,

Panas redap,

Disenangi angin redum,

Fajar segar dipelamun kejelitaan,

Bunga-bunga di ambang pagi.

Translation-Copyright Kent

Flowery Splendours

The scent of blossoms,

Touch the cradle,

Of thoughts, of sanctity,

On edge of paths,

Under a shady sky,

The sun shines sooth,

I stroll,

Sung soft

By a Myna.

The morning breeze breathe,

Hot and moist,

Awaken my languor.

The morning flare,

Glare from the minutiae dews,

On pink fine petals,

Caressing violet orchids;

Coddled in lush moist leaves,

Deeply engrossed,

Brittle breeze nature sings,

Nurtures a putrid heart,

Overwhelmed among buxom blossoms,

Tender delicate

& moisten fabricate,

Feeling warmly mystic,

Among windy mist,

Refreshing morning mesmerized by splendours,

Of the subtle blossoms.

Dinda Yang Perawan

Oh dinda yang perawan,

Kanda memandang matamu berseri rawan,

Tapi renunganmu beku dingin,

Apakah kanda bukan dinda merindu,

Kandakah sendiri yang merindu kelu?

Matamu yang penawan,

Kanda tiada perlu melawan

Bibirmu yang mekar mawar,

Pipimu yang putih mulus,

Keningmu yang halus tulus,

Oh dinda tersayang,

Apakah kanda yang berubah?

Translation-Copyright Kent

My Lovely Beloved

O my lovely little beauty,

I graze the sight of your fairy eyes,

But why the frigid cold eyes,

Am I not the one you dearly miss,

Me alone missing you dearly?

Your eyes so enchanting,

I need not urge,

For your,

Budding red lips,

Coddling fairy cheeks,

And your preen brows,

O my lovely beauty,

Changed have I?